Everything about you is new

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massive

there’s darkness.  

messages and information coming in from all sides.

self service this, self service that, don’t manage lead, i don’t need detail, i need more high level, i’ve been off on maternity, the person who used to do that has left, we hadn’t thought of that, i’m telling rather than asking, you could think about, Have you checked with, 1 plus 1 is 3, do you have any feedback, its been noted that, have you thought about your personal brand, can you help with purchase reqs, can I ask a quick question about ed sponsorship, do you have a WordPress log in, how do I access Lynda, let them fail, learn to say no, we are all one company, you need to collaborate more, customers, revenue, out with the old, dont cross pollinate….

fuck.

i’m going under.

i have no defence.

i’m under attack.

it’s all black and white.

its all black now.

I don’t know who she is.

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night beats

There’s a kick I get when I believe that no one can keep up.
It makes me feel good to push work back onto others; you get paid more than me, earn it.
Determination and hard work are all I’ve ever had.
I’d like to be good on my team, but I’m not a great team player.

The next station is Ilford Road

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A trip to the dentist brings back the oldest memories. I’m transported back. I can feel my mums hand.  I miss holding it.
The anaesthetic takes part of my conscious mind away. I’m nervous. I sing Good Vibrations to myself.
Look! Listen! Vibrate! Smile!
Questions take my mind away. The guitarist who replaced David Marks? The two new recruits on Sail on Sailor?
Why haven’t I listened to any of their other work?
Thank you Brian.

Automatic high

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A friend of a friend once told me he enjoyed walking around his city at night.
Enjoying the city.
The remark sounded like the greatest secret I’d been missing.

In another secret I stumble across a piece of footage so well crafted  that the star metamorphosis infront of me.

She’s got a boyfriend anyway‏

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Old friends take a trip to a memorial with me.
Its packed. T-shirts and tattoos everywhere.

We laugh when we leave. Old jokes keeping our friendship alive. Old memories reminding us of our past together.
Top ten lists are compared.
New dates are set.
He adds so much to my life. But he has no idea.

Because I never tell him.

Baby look what you’ve done to me

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Changes.
Challenges.

I examine problems now radically differently to how I did two years ago.
Does that make me better?

Its interesting to look back.

Someone calls me committed. I smile.
Todays not the day for a big head though. There’s work to be done. There’s points to be proved.